I am quite glad to see the end of 2009, it was a year of loss after loss after loss. I can't say I didn't have gains, I did gain two wonderful kitties that don't really affect my allergies and was able to grieve in a beautiful setting. I had too many deaths this year, and being laid off really did a number on me. I just didn't see it coming. I did finally get a new job but I feel completely out of my element. I'm not used to having to deal with having to figure out the environment and situation of each new company everyday. Who knew I would miss working in a corporate environment so much.

Well enough complaining. Here's to a better 2010. Here's to new friends, no deaths, financial gain, and just plain old contentment. I plan on having fun, taking lots of pictures and having a happy year. I hope you all are able to do the same!

Happy New Year!

Here is a list of all the books I read this year. Except the craft books and ones I didn't finish. All this week I have been trying to read this big collection of mystery stories and getting distracted.

The best books I read for the first time this year were:
The Sirens Sang of Murder, Sarah Caudwell
The Adventures of Barry Ween, Boy Genius; Judd Winick
My Booky Wook, Russell Brand
The Complete K Chronicles, Keith Knight
The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks, E. Lockhart
Tales from Outer Suburbia, Shaun Tan
Pretty Monsters, Kelly Link
Vanilla Ride, Joe R. Lansdale
The Sound of Butterflies, Rachael King
American Elf Book Three, James Kochalka

My thoughts on these (in reverse alphabetical order) are here.

I got this kit to make bracelets for my nieces. But I made the eyeball one on a whim, I love it, and it don't go 'round my fat wrist! Angst.

Tags: made things

Time to drink for 11?

I made it to Durham. Driving was hellish. A hint for future roadtrips: leaving Ann Arbor at 7:30 a.m. means getting to DC around 4:30 p.m. I was stuck in rush hour traffic moving about the speed of a horse-drawn carriage until almost 8:00, through the entire bit of the Beltway I was on and well down 95, but somehow managed to get here by 11:15. Good times.

Earlier today Tyler and I had a very long brunch at Bojangles, then went beer shopping, then went pillow shopping. And now I'm waiting around until I go to various New Years Eve parties. Goodbye, 2000s! At least you gave me the ability to vote.

Current Mood: It's spelled Bojangales
Current Music: Don't make me get the dictionary.

OMG, ADORABLE.

I love "I don't want to hear any excuses." What a captain.

Tags: penguins

ugh. sitting in the library before they're even open. want to go back to bed! the carbon monoxide detector went off this morning when erik was getting ready for work. he came and woke me up and then we hurried and got our things and got out of the house. once at the library, i called patty and she has someone coming this afternoon to look at the furnace. luckily i planned on spending the day cleaning the apartment, so i have a place to go. funtimes.

this would also be the day that our phones conveniently decide to stop working. not sure what's going on there. erik is waiting for a response as to why they're not. we're on his mom's plan, so maybe we ran out of minutes? i don't imagine it has anything to do with paying the bill, since it's still a few days before the end of the month. all i know is, this is the first time we actually needed them for an emergency. and that was super frustrating.

if for some reason we can't stay at home tonight, i'm thinking it would probably be safe to sleep at Fire. so at least we have a spot to fall back on. but i would just really like to sleep in my new house!

haven't posted in a few days... we've been super busy with moving. it looks like we can occasionally steal internet from a SLOW network in the neighborhood somewhere. we should have ours switched over from the apartment in the next few days or so.

we came home today to a ton of deer tracks in our front yard. i'm excited about that, although patty said that she's only ever seen them once in the 20 years that she's lived here. i'd like to think they were welcoming us to the neighborhood :) i come upon deer quite often whenever i'm out walking in the woods. they generally don't seem to mind my presence, even once they notice me. i definitely feel an affinity toward them.

i've been having trouble sleeping in the new house. the noises and such take some getting used to. i also have an overactive imagination as far as spiders go. it doesn't help that the first time i came over, i was sitting on the kitchen floor against a cupboard and patty alerted me to the huge ass spider right next to my ear. the thing was the size of a half dollar. that's pretty damn big for a michigan house spider. so now, when i'm laying there trying to sleep, that's all i can do is imagine them in bed with us. my hives feel like stinging bugbites, so i'm convinced that i'm getting bitten all over. it isn't logical at all when you're awake, but when you're halfway to sleep, it seems reasonable somehow.

the move is almost completely over. we moved most of our big stuff over on sunday, with the help of some friends. jai, amber, amy, jenny, james, and wayne all helped. we finished in under two hours. and if you know how much of a packrat i am, that will amaze you. no one complained or made fun of me. it is so nice to be around kind people. we've also been blessed with some housewarming gifts. amy got us a set of fresh spices from penzey's and a bread machine. jai gave us a flat wide screen computer monitor. we're so spoiled :)

xmas was pretty nice. had a great dinner at dad's, played trivial pursuit on the wii and exchanged gifts. we got him a gift certificate to Bacchus, a gourmet food store. he got me a handmade pottery brie baker and erik a game for his computer.

afterward, we drove to my mom's and stayed the night. chuck was there when we arrived and we hung out with him and mom for a bit. learned about yet another murder in south haven and a terrible beating by a group of guys that put one person into a coma. so crazy that things have gotten so violent since i left south haven. this is just after a guy was bound, gagged and burned beyond recognition.

after chuck left, erik and i stayed up waaaaay too late, watching the cooking network. we didn't wake up til noon on xmas. i felt kind of bad, since i wanted to spend lots of time with my mom. we spent a few hours cooking dinner (prime rib, yorkshire pudding, veggie lasagna, mashed potatoes, green bean cassarole and broccoli salad) it all turned out well, despite the glass baking pan explosion. we all exchanged presents... we got my mom some really nice, high count sheets and andy a gift card to buy stuff for his new house. i got some awesome bath stuff from LUSH and spending money. erik got his favorite things from american spoon and spending money. then we had dessert. i made chocolate mousse and key lime creme puffs. noms :) erik has definitely settled into my family over the past year. last xmas, he wasn't quite as comfortable, but now he's doling out the jabs and jokes like the rest of us. i will say that i really miss having my brother rob at xmas. hopefully someday, he'll be able to come visit with my nephew.

once 6pm hit, we left to go to erik's mom's dinner. there weren't too many people there, which was fine, as we were super exhausted. we ate a tiny bit and laughed with his mom, brother and kim. the highlight of visiting his side of the family is always the puppies. :) the drive home was really icey and stressful. really horrible after such a long day. but we made it safe and sound. we haven't done anything to celebrate together yet. we're planning to wait until we're unpacked and comfortable in the new house. then it might be nice to go stay in a b&b somewhere to relax.

ok... going to try to sleep now. hopefully the spider ghosts leave me be!

See you folks in the Souf.


From left to right: champagne, trusty assistant, Febreze, piles of clothing, iPod with new earbuds from Santa, NyQuil gelcaps

Almost ready to go!

Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: Modest Mouse - Interstate 8 | Powered by Last.fm

Here's what caused me pain yesterday (I mean, aside from the pleurisy causing me physical pain): Andy and some of his former high school teammates signed up for a holiday indoor soccer tournament. They're all in college, so ages 18-21. They had two games back-to-back last night, and Dad and I went to watch. During the first one, a their next opponents were hanging around near us, and I commented that they seemed older than our boys, closer to my age.

Then, during the second game, one of the kids from the first opposing team came over to say hi to my dad, because I guess he and Andy had played together on some other team when they were younger. Anyway, he said that Andy's team should beat these guys no problem, because "a lot of them are playing college soccer now, but these guys probably haven't played since high school, and they're old. They're like 25!"


Ouch.

Tags: family, pittsburgh

I've said this all before, but it's a tradition, damn it.

This entry will sound like every late December one in the last eight years, but I'm back from New Mexico. So glad to be back I can barely express it. The multiple iterations of visiting home every six months and finding everything just about the same make the process ... trying. More and more, my feelings about New Mexico are slipping from an even split of love/hate and pride/shame to overall loathing. I love my people there, but ... there are tons of problems (not just systemic stuff like teenage parenthood and pride in drunk driving, but also random bullshit like the neighbors having a screaming fight in the alley behind the house at 2:00 a.m.) and it's becoming clear they probably won't ever change. I need to keep telling myself that it's all good because I don't live there anymore, and have no plans to move back. And in the realm of very good news, Momma moved her retirement date up from August 10 to July 1. I'm very happy for her; she shouldn't have to deal with bullshit every day either.

If you're interested in the basics of what I did (I'm mostly writing this for myself): Arrived in Albuquerque at 11:00 p.m. on December 23, and Mandy (of HASTAC fame) and her boyfriend were on my flight from Atlanta randomly. The family picked me up and we slept at our favorite hotel by the airport, which is nice, but. The experience made me vow that I will never share a hotel room with my parents again. I do not understand why they would think I'd be interested in breakfast at 7:30 a.m. when I didn't get to bed until 1:00 ("But they only serve it until 9:30!" "So I'll go at 9:20!"). On December 24, we took care of a good bit of shopping, and I managed to get jeans and boots out of the process. I also took my parents into Urban Outfitters and it was not really that awkward. We finished the day with dinner in Santa Fe, at the mariscos restaurant that Dad loves; I had bomb-ass shrimp in an unidentified spicy cream sauce, and I liked it much better than the usual Christmas Eve menu of posole and red chile. We spent the morning of December 25 exchanging gifts with Brian, Susannah, and my nephews and nieces; Jonas Brothers purses were involved. In the afternoon, we went to Chimayo with Auntie Laura and Billy, and Jamie, Josh, their kids (Jaelynn is huge!), and Eddo and Alejandra, though their father was MIA. Awesome food, and I learned exactly how much energy four kids under the age of ten require. Lawd help their parents. The rest of the days were spent watching TV and popping Claritins in an attempt to feel somewhat normal (see below).

To be fair, I was in a shitty mood for a lot of the time, because I contracted some sort of sinus bullshit on Christmas Eve and that persisted for most of my time there. Claritin helped keep me sane. And then on the 27th my stomach turned on me. I assume it was something I ate, but with the amount of food in the house, it's hard to pinpoint what was the culprit. I'll spare you the details, but I spent most of that day and night writhing in my bed, and was extremely thankful to be well enough to travel back the next day. I managed to score upgrades on both flights; the extra room was so welcome to keep my body happy in that state. When I got back to DTW, the only problem was that I had to wait for my checked bag and had no patience left. But it came, and all was well.

I've spent today loafing around the house (my house, in Ann Arbor), though I did get the laundry done and managed a quick workout at the gym. Having one out of three campus gyms open was a festuche, but I managed. When I wrap this up I need to pack up the car, for I am driving to North Carolina tomorrow morning! Going to spend 5 or 6 days hanging around with folks, eating good food, and doing a little work on a conference presentation here and there. The Eisenhower Interstate System is my friend.

Current Mood: Independence!
Current Music: Janet Jackson "Go Deep"

My fondest memories of 2009 were the following: 

EDIT:  My favorite memory of 2009 hands down was the weekend I spent at Interlochen for my 15th high school reunion.  Even though none of my SUPER close friends from high school could attend, the people who were there were such a joy to be around.  The bond of going there brings instant closeness and I had so much fun.  It was also very emotional.  Performing there again was so strange and so perfect.  I got all teary about an hour before I went on thinking about how my performances there were what gave me the courage to do what I still do today.

My sister's wedding in which I officiated and had a wonderful evening afterward with so many of my favorite people on Earth. 

The Tori Amos concert in Detroit which was one of the best I have ever seen. 

Getting some potentially good news with some opportunities that came my way.  Nothing has panned out and one fell through, but the feeling was wonderful.  I love feeling I still have a hand in the game.

Writing and recording MANY projects.

The Lowest Points?  I think I will keep them to myself but there were some and this year tested me on many levels.  Some I failed and some I passed.  I do know that going forward I am very conscious of the changes I want to make in my life and I feel confident that I can do it.

Do I wish I could do it all over again?  Probably not. I don't live in the past for the most part.  I like to move forward.  This wasn't the worst year of my life but not the best either.  I am tired of struggling, and may get a day job soon to avoid it.  lol

Tags: writer's block

Something on my mind here...

A long, long time ago, I used to actually think about shit, analyze, and work out what was right and what was true. I was usually right. Somewhere along the line it all just got too depressing, the whole thinking thing. Plus, I'd try to explain shit to people and it was as if I were speaking Korean. At worst they'd look at me like I was speaking in tongues and at best I'd get something back on about the same level as "annyong haseyo. Ne ireumeun Lauraimnida" which seemed so elementary to me that I'd be hard-pressed to come up with a response. That was also fucking depressing. So I just stopped, and just let shit happen instead without trying to constantly analyze, and now, now I'm trying to think and I just fucking can't. It's as if I've lost the ability somewhere along the way and that, my friends, is the most fucking depressing thing of all.

As far as such things can be measured, I am in the 98th percentile when it comes to intelligence. Statistically, only one in fifty people I meet is smarter than me. Somewhere I started to listen to the other 49 people and became convinced there was something wrong with me, which there is, you know, many things are wrong with me, but critical thinking wasn't one of them and I should never have believed it was. Now I don't know how to get it back.

but Simon's whole thing here is honesty, precision of words, thinking instead of reacting purely based on emotions, and that's what I want, you know? that's more like who I used to be. I just don't know if I can do it any more.

see? life-changing.

Last night I saw the movie It's Complicated and loved it.  I was laughing very hard at certain parts.  I highly recommend it.  It is nice to see a movie about people who are over 50 being shown as having fun, being sexual beings, etc.  Meryl Streep was amazing as always.  She could play a gorilla and I'd love it.

Anyway, one of Meryl Streep's lines in the movie made me think of something I've been turning over in my brain over the last few weeks.  She said something like this:  "I wanted to step outside my comfort zone, which if you're really honest with yourself isn't very comforting."  With each record I make, I try to make an overt choice to step outside my comfort zone.  In the case of this new one, that has become tantamount to the process, the most important thing.  I have been really trying to go with my instincts and not worry about how produced or slick it is, or worry about using drums or adding a lot of elements.  Some songs still have a lot going on, but some are much simpler.  I have found that I am using the same approach that I did in the early days when things were very different.  Back then I didn't know when, if ever, anything would be released so I recorded EXACTLY what I was feeling with wild abandon.  As the years progress and things change, knowing that what you are doing will be going out to the public when you choose to release it gets inside your brain, and I think you'd be a fool not to acknowledge that.

Back to the comfort zone thing:  I have always felt a very strong need to go further than I'm comfortable going with my artistic work.  I think that is the only way to truly grow and get better at anything in life.  Resting with what's easy or comfortable, while sometimes fine, cannot, for me, become the M.O. of the entire process or I just know I'll look at the work and be disappointed.  That is where the "you realize it's not so comforting" part comes in, and I think that's why the line in the film stood out to me.  Staying in my comfort zone, while being easy, would ultimately lead to boredom, stagnation, but most importantly anxiety.  

I'm not saying that everything I do has to be some groundbreaking, experimental thing.  Sometimes I push the envelope in very small ways.

This leads me to something else I have been thinking about and discussing recently.  I think it's an interesting paradox that the better your music sounds, the more people think it was easy.  If you hear someone on MySpace or wherever and they sound like they are struggling you KNOW it was hard, but when it sounds good people too often think it wasn't difficult.  I wear so many hats, and all were learned over many, many years. 

I start as the songwriter.  Writing a good song is not as easy as one might think.  It's a balancing act at all times and it never gets any easier.  It is easier for me than it is for many, and I know that, but I still have to be quite focused and not let the thing unravel in my head or hands.  For me music comes first, then lyrics.  Lyrics are where you can really get into trouble.  How many lyrics are just awful?  Too many.  Crafting a good lyric that has meaning and poignant, a-ha moments is something that takes time to get good at.

So the song is written, and in my case it is time for the producer to step in.  What does this song want?  What kinds of sounds would suit it?  When you start with a blank session it can feel daunting.  Piece by piece, sound by sound, I add things and take things away, carefully shaping a sonic landscape for the vocals to exist in.  I am the performer and the producer all at once.  I must provide solid musical performances for the vision for the song that is in my head.  I have to be objective enough to know when something is not good enough, but judicious enough that I don't spend 3 months on one song and never finish it because it is not perfect.  You have to know how to be hard on yourself without being too hard on yourself, if that makes sense. 

Vocal time:  The same rules apply.  The composer, the producer and the performer all have to do their separate jobs.  I must sing well, being careful to add emphasis where needed, phrase lines in a way that serves the material, etc.  Background vocals are something I'm known for and those take a lot of time as well.  Thinking up the complex lines and parts and putting them all together is one of my favorite puzzles, but it can be another daunting task and not one that I just assume, in arrogance, will be good just because I have had success with it before.  

Once the vocals are in place the engineer and producer hats are on.  I have to be careful since I performed all the elements, including vocals, myself that I don't get one particular thing stuck in my head and fixate because that will ruin a mix.  Mixing is when objectivity is most important.  It is also where you have to see where the strengths and weaknesses are and add a nice sheen to things to cover its blemishes.  This is where they get their makeup on, if you will.  

Anyway, that's just a glossing over of what is involved, but it is frightening, exciting, dangerous and the BEST thing all at once.  

I feel very arrogant or ego maniacal to be writing this post, but these things were on my mind and since I'm a musician who performs in public I thought maybe people might find it interesting.  Everyone's process and circumstances are different.  This is just more insight into mine. 

Further things I have learned on this trip:

Ed Byrne and Russell Howard are hilarious.

Goat meat is not all that.

I was remiss in not seeing The Dark Knight until now. Is it weird that I like the Joker (in most of his incarnations) better than Batman? Arkham Asylum is also a pretty great game.

I would love to write all about Australia, but this isn't going to end up being much of a travelling trip. We are, maybe, going to the Steve Irwin zoo tomorrow. I may or may not remember my camera.

I am staying in a house with every gaming system known to man, pretty much... all the modern ones, anyway... so it's like video game heaven. I am going to have to buy a DS now simply to play Picross.

oh, and Brisbane is a LOT like Halifax. I can't fucking get away from this shit, can I?

That's about all; I have tons to say about Simon but I can't make it come out right, but just so you all know, scary Internet guy didn't kill me or anything. He's fucking brilliant, way smarter than me, and unflinchingly honest and won't let me get away with any shit, so it's pretty challenging and one of the weirdest fucking "relationship" type things I've ever been in... but anyway, more on that later...

i haven't done anything constructive in 4 days. aside from the ill fated supermarket trip on the 24th and 6 hours i spent in the ER yesterday (working, thankfully), i haven't left my house. two of those days were spent sickly, of course, but i have no excuse for the other two days. sheer laziness really.

last night i got an email from a friend letting me know that someone from my past got engaged. i really thought i would care. even just a little bit, but...nope. nothing. in fact, not caring was the only thing that actually bothered me. the plan was to go shopping to make me feel better about not caring. i was too lazy to do that. that's how much i cared. *shrug*

on a completely random and scary note, i had a super scary dream last night! weirdly scary. i had a dream that for some reason or another i had to have a hysterectomy o_O seriously?! i couldn't even made this shit up. in the dream, i was completely freaking out, and begging the dr to figure out an alternate treatment since i was only 27 (in the dream obviously since i'm not quite there yet). it was really freaky. perhaps i can tell the future through my dreams? i dont know but it was super weird.

so during these past 96 past days of indolence, i've been catching up on all the TV shows i missed. non-surprisingly, i am a fan of hospital dramas, but this year has definitely shown there is a wide range of quality when it comes to them. i don't watch hawthorn, rn or nurse jackie. i've heard bad things about both, and i'm not really interested in the premise of either. i'm still not caught up on grey's either ;__; its next on my list though!

anyway so the shows i caught up on were mercy and three rivers, and between the two they really cover the extremes of television.

on the positive end is mercy. the characters are flawed but interesting. the story is primarily about three nurses at a hospital in NJ. the first few episodes are chocked full of hilariously true jokes about NJ. just about everyone on the show can actually act, and make me actually give a damn. my biggest complaint is that the shows sometimes dropped a narrative string without ending it. there was a story about a korean guy who got shot during a burglury attempt that they were trying to save. in the end, the audience never finds out if the guy lives or not. meh. still a good show.

know what's not a good show? three rivers. in fact, the show is a complete waste. its never on at the right time so my DVR only taped half of it for 3 episodes. i still gave it 3 episodes though just to be fair. the show is about an organ transplant center in pittsburg. the show is predictable; in the 3 episodes i watched, the only people who died were the donors, and they all conveniently were simply brain dead. no one ever died on the table. apparently at three rivers, a cardiothoracic surgeon is needed to meet a helicopter with a patient with a broken leg on it. they also apparently copter dislocated shoulders in pittsburg. their sad attempts at being futuristic in their technology come off as cheesy and distracting. and all of those are the least of the problems. the acting is so BAD. it's so disingenuous, its laughable. they say "oh no. he's crashing. maybe i should do something to save him." with the same emotion i would put in a mcdonald's order with. actually with even less interest. overall, its just bad and a waste of time.

oh oh, BUT today, i found a new show on TLC called emergency: level 1. its filmed at vanderbilt hospital, and its pretty similar to trauma or code blue except filmed in this century. i'm excited. how am i expected to watch the same episodes of my favorite gruesome shows?

alright alright. my senseless babbling is over. time for even more sleep. hopefully with no scary dreams this time.

i accidentally logged on to my lj (don't ask), so i figure... eh what the hell. i'll update.

i almost have all my christmas cards out the door. yesyes i know today is the day AFTER christmas, but i have a good reason (see below)! so if you still want a christmas card, send me your address, and i'll drop it in the mail. hopefully you'll get it before new years.

so the reason the cards are so late is b/c shockingly, i got sick again. in fact, i haven't been able to have a whole meal in almost a week now. wooo! i will never understand how people willingly choose to vomit all the time. anyway so wednesday was the work "christmas party" which when you work in a machine shop = a BBQ. since i don't eat meaties or BBQ fixins, i ate 4 potato chips (literally 4), a spoonful of potato salad, and a cookie. about 4 hours later, i had some sweet potato french fries at home. end result? woo! vomit! at first, it was just a stomach ache, so i took some meds. which i promptly regurgitated. so i had some anti-nausea meds, which i promptly regurgitated. it was gloriously wonderful. i spent most of the night trying not to vomit curled up in a little ball in horrible pain. so on the 24th, i figured, hell, i can't have anything left in my stomach considering i've already thrown everything up! so why not eat 2 peices of toast. that can't hurt right? wrong again! woo! more vomiting. except this time it also included almost passing out at the publix b/c i actually thought i could do something other than sleep. i've also been battling the headache from HELL for the past few days. of course, in a feeble attempt to make my head feel like it wasn't going to implode, i took advil which in turn made my stomach hurt. in the end, i think the second day's syncope and headache were caused by dehydration. i still have no idea what caused the inability to hold anything down. i've been on the one meal a day plan since, but i hope to be able to eat like a human again today. *fingers crossed*

christmas was otherwise uneventful and quiet. i got my DVD player i was hoping for! yayayay! i also got windows office, which is pretty exciting since i've been living with windows works on my laptop for almost a year now. that was pretty much all my loot for the year. not too shabby. my DVD player is awfully fancy so i'm pretty happy about it. no more having to watch DVDs on the comp or trying to force my DVD player to show me subtitles (how can someone who never watches things in english have a DVD player that only selectively shows subtitles?!). so woo.

hope everyone else's holidays were just as pleasantly spent (well you know, minus the vomiting)!

perhaps tomorrow: a yearly wrap up

Check out what I have for you on ebay this week!

Abridged CD audio books:
Scavenger by David Morrell
Hey, Good Looking by Fern Michaels
2 Debbie Macomber
6th Target by James Patterson & Maxine Paetro
Tail Spin by Catherine Coulter
Rogue by Danielle Steel
Sullivan's Evidence by Nancy Taylor Rosenberg

First editions:
2 in Coville lot
3 in comic strip lot
10 in kids' lot
Traitor to the Blood by Barb & J.C. Hendee, hardback (second listing)
Hello Kitty craft lot (second listing)
Those Who Hunt The Night by Barbara Hambly, hardback (second listing)

OUT OF PRINT:
2 in Coville lot
7 in comic strip lot
8 in kids' lot
Frosty the Snow Man by Annie North Bedford, illustrated by Terri Super, hardback
1 in Stine lot (second listing)
Sons of the Dark lot

Lots:
6 Bruce Coville
10 Terry Goodkind Sword of Truth
14 comic strip collections
28 kids' books [1 autographed!]
2 Debbie Macomber audio books on CD
5 R.L. Stine (second listing)
2 Sons of the Dark HBs, Lynne Ewing
3 Alexander books, Judith Viorst
2 Hello Kitty craft books (second listing)


Other stuff:
The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster, hardback (second listing)
Merry Christmas Mom and Dad by Mercer Mayer, paperback (second listing)
Under the Wolf, Under the Dog by Adam Rapp, hardback (second listing)

Please look!

Happy christmas, y'all. I got you a picture of my stepbrother Pete with a lizard on his head:

p.s. - sleep tight, don't let krampus bite!!! ;-P

wishing a merry christmas to all, and to all a GOOD NIGHT!!!! here's hoping you uncover whatever it is you truly want under the tree, even if it is an official red ryder carbine-action two-hundred-shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock. ;)

It's a good thing the kids get their presents from me after christmas, because Aunt Honey nearly dropped the ball on this one.

Book I made for my nephew:


Hope he likes it..

Tags: bookbinding

getting ready to leave town for xmas festivities. tonight we're having dinner at my dad's with my youngest brother andy. my dad lives in paw paw now, which is halfway to south haven. we figured since we're already that far, we might as well drive into SH and spend the night at my mom's. xmas dinner at my mom's tomorrow and then a 2nd dinner at erik's mom's (in paw paw).

a little nervous, since we're supposed to have freezing rain all day and night. but we'll take it slow and get there when we get there.

talked to my brother rob on the phone. he's flying from LA to spend xmas in denver with his new girlfriend. glad he's having a good time. he's been going through lots of BS with my nephew's mother. at least he'll be someplace happy for xmas.

I would have thought this number would be higher, honestly:

40% Geek

Created by OnePlusYou - Free Dating Site

Current Mood: awake

augh. very stressful day. had a meeting with some bimbo from H&R Block. they're refunding the original fee that they charged us to do our taxes and any interest and fines incurred on our taxes because of their mistakes. they are not, however, refunding the $1200 that we owe the state. because of the mistakes *they* made, we were sent the wrong amount in our tax refund. we didn't know any better and spent it. well, now the state wants their money back and H&R is saying that it's our responsibility. we're seeking legal counsel on the matter. this situation made our wedding more difficult and then later in the year, kept us from going to GenCon. if you're considering using H&R Block, please don't. they've really screwed us over by making mistake after mistake after mistake. they lure you in by making you believe that they're trained professionals, but the people that work for them are just people off the street that run a computer program. three different people made three different mistakes on one year's taxes. within all of their promises and guarantees, there are tons of loopholes. just do yourself a favor!

the rest of the day has been pleasant though. i taught the advanced class and had lots of fun with fades and formation changes. jenny made me a really cute dance belt/skirt with a ruffle, corset lacing and antique buttons. amongst other gifts were a copy of melora creager's cd, money, and a book of zombie xmas carols. my students are such sweethearts. i wish i could afford to do something for them.... i think i'll wait til after xmas and surprise them :)

after class, i didn't have to work in the office, so i picked up erik from work. we did the whole H&R block thing, had our meltdown at home for about an hour and then went out to finish errands. we had dinner at chilis and read books and drank coffee at barnes & noble. traffic was super nutso and people were thronging everywhere we went. but it felt good to get out of the house and not fixate on how angry we were.

tomorrow, i need to get up early with erik so that i can have the car. i need to get my sister in law's gift and my dad's. i'll probably load up the car and take some more boxes over to the new house. i have a lesson to teach in the early evening and then the night is open for adventure.

Halp?

15 hours until my last exam is over and I'm on my way to the airport to get the eff out of town for some long overdue relaxation. Can you tell I'm counting? I'm currently in the doctoral lounge on a break from studying with Katharine, Dave, and Lisa, and we are all so burned out by this point. Despite needing desperately to study for tomorrow's theory exam, I spent most of today cleaning the house, doing laundry, returning cans and bottles to Meijer, and Christmas shopping, because in case my Theory professor didn't notice, it's three fucking days before Christmas. Ugh. I think Congress and U of M students are the last remaining people in the United States not sitting around Christmas trees and drinking eggnog. Oh well, I'll enjoy the compressed academic schedule when my summer comes and is literally over four months long.

I'm getting more excited about the various things I'm doing over the break. Nothing major, just watching various cities from the plane (I apparently will be able to see the largest new urbanist development in the country from the plane while landing at ABQ? Gross but amusing), eating tamales and hearing stories from my great aunts, drinking at old haunts with my Durham friends.

Getting ready to throw the 2000s in the rubbish bin. I probably won't even write end-of-year entries; instead I'm going to get schwasted and drink champagne out of my shoe.

Current Mood: Planners decompose poorly.
Current Music: Bishop Allen - People You Meet | Powered by Last.fm

I finally broke up with Pascal last night, over the Australia issue. How do you break up a non-relationship? well, I've done it twice now, and both times resulted in just as many recriminations and as much guilt as breaking up from a real relationship. I pretty much feel like the worst person ever. I hope he'll calm down and we'll be back to at least some kind of pact of non-aggression. I don't know.

Anyway, I'm going to Australia on Thursday. I myself am not sure how I feel about this and so there's no hope of explaining it to you lot.

If nothing else, it made the Australians at school really excited.

I'm a little pissed that I needed a visa for Australia beforehand. As a Canadian, I'm used to being able to just waltz into whatever country I like, but evidently not in this case. And they're supposed to be together with us in the Commonwealth. wtf is this shit, honestly.

This morning I ducked out of school to send my mother's Christmas parcel and pick up insulin. When I got back I went to get my bag out of my filing cabinet and realized... I had lost my work keys. There was no hope of retracing my steps. I tried to get Bill to bust it open so as to avoid having to explain to large numbers of people that I'm a dork, but it was to no avail and we had to talk to like four different offices before we got the maintenance guys in. Sigh.

To make the story even dumber... the last thing I put in my purse was my keys, and the second last thing I put in was my mother's Christmas present wrapped in a bag. (Okay, it's going to be more like a mid-January present. Shut up.) This leads me to think that perhaps my keys got caught in the bag somehow and are now on their way to Canada.

Current Mood: weary
Current Music: VNV Nation

the solstice celebration was lovely. we called the corners, did some chanting and sang some paganized carols. there was some storytelling and more singing. the evening ended with each of us writing a wish on a piece of paper and walking a spiral labyrinth with a small altar at the center, where we placed our wish in a small bag as an offering. each person was smudged at the beginning and anointed when they emerged. i dealt with a little bit of anxiety at first about walking the labyrinth in front of everyone by myself, afraid i was going to lose my way or stumble or something silly like that. but once inside, i had strong focus and was pretty centered.

dani, jenny's daughter, actually convinced erik to walk the labyrinth! i was really proud of him for overcoming his anxiety. i didn't want to pressure him at all, so i didn't even ask if he wanted to. so i was really surprised when i saw him get up and join the line!

i've been pagan since a very early age, but have always been pretty much solitary. growing up, there were a variety of new agey types in my life that i worked with. my reiki/yoga teacher was one of the biggest influences. we'd chant and smudge and clear spaces together, but i've never really worked with a pagan group at all. it's something that i've always wanted.

tonight's group was a little looser than i'd ideally like things to be. don't get me wrong, it is something i'd like to partake in again. but i'd like a smaller, more tight-knit group that i can really do some work with. i know i have that in jenny and raina, but we need to set a regular time to meet. i think tonight was a good beginning for us.

the rest of the night has been very nice as well! erik and i went for dinner at rasa ria, an *awesome* indonesian restaurant in town. then to water street for dessert and espresso. now we're at home, with the yule candles lit, just enjoying a quiet evening together.



HAPPY YULE EVERYONE!!!!

how do i become a 'dame', e.g. like dame judi dench or maggie smith?? i want to be a dame! ;)

can't believe how quickly today passed. it's almost 3am and i'm not sleepy at all.

class went really well. jenny brought the twins, which never fails to brighten my day! annabelle ran up the stairs ahead of everyone, all the way across the room and gave me a huge hug. even though i've decided not to have kids, they bring me such joy! we have a handful of little ones that we spoil and love to death. we'll always be the cool aunt sarah and uncle erik :)

forgot to mention that we saw 'Avatar' the other night. it totally blew my mind. the 3D was gorgeous and the plot and characters really resonated with me. i couldn't help feeling like i was experiencing a new page in history. so glad we saw it in 3D!

going to a solstice celebration at the people's church tomorrow night. excited to finally be with a large group of people that are so open. this'll be my first time going to people's church, but quite a few of my friends are members and highly recommend it. tonight while laying with erik before he fell asleep, he asked if i minded that he tag along. i certainly don't mind, but am very surprised. he's interested because it means something to me. isn't that sweet?

got a lot more packing done while erik was at D&D and made a big pot of chili. it ended up in the fridge when erik showed up with two huge pieces of lasagna that ruby sent home. she is such a good cook! she's italian and it's most evident when she cooks! i'll definitely send her a batch of the fresh mozzarella that i'm going to make once we're moved into the house.

looks like Boheme has a possible gig for new years. just waiting to get a confirmation. i told them i needed to know by tuesday, since most of my girls need to find babysitters. it's a pretty good gig, so keep your fingers crossed for us!

I realize I may have been updating less than usual. There's a bunch of stuff I want to share with you, but I've got a ton of stuff to do, and I never seem to have the time. Like right now, I'm supposed to be writing ebay listings.

Here are some of the things I've been working on:
I found this Klutz book (Capsters) at the library sale and have been making lots of magnets & pins out of bottle caps:

I put these on Rona's filing cabinet on the 17th:

I'm waiting to see how long it takes her to notice them.

Here are some art trading cards:

The second one, tentatively called "a white girl looks at white," is one I'm not sure is finished yet.

I'm also not sure about the horned guy.

Here's a photo of my first collage bigger than an ATC (next to one for comparison:

And here's a scan:
It's all symbolic and shit. Which is why I don't like the swirly things, I shouldn't have used them.

Tags: atcs, made things

1. I have been saying since training camp that Mike Wallace's pseudo-mohawk would make a big play, but then when he took off his helmet, he had one of those hood things on! Any Pittsburghers have local Wallace's-hair coverage? Does it still exist?

2. I suspended my affection for Aaron Rodgers for this game, and it would have been an indefinite suspension if he'd beaten us. I'm sure that's a silver lining for him in this loss. Right, Aaron?

3.Thank god Ben's career-high/team-record 503 yards didn't go to waste in yet another ugly loss.

4. Woooooooooooooooo!

Edit for #5 from post-game quotes. I thought that Wallace catch looked like Santonio's from the Super Bowl. Then I saw this:
Q: Did that play remind you of Santonio Holmes’ catch in Super Bowl 43?
Mike Tomlin: Oh my gosh, that’s so far in our rear view, we’re just trying to stay alive.
There are about four things in that one sentence that I love. Tomlin is the best. And Mohawk Wallace cracks me up too:
Q: Why do you think [Ben] said he’d come to you?
Mike Wallace: Because I’m the least one that everybody is worried about out there. We have great guys. We have a Hall of Famer, Hines Ward. We have Santonio [Holmes], a potential Pro Bowler. We have Heath [Miller], another potential Pro Bowler. So it’s just little old me, out there by myself on an island.

Tags: pittsburgh, steelers

Seriously? Ugh.

I just want you to be there for Christmas. Is that really so much to ask?
I don't care if it's selfish. Will you just stop being so stubborn?
/emoing

My family fails. Traveling should not be this difficult.

Tags: augh, break, christmas, lame
Current Mood: disappointed

Penguins Notebook: Steelers showing success isn't guaranteed
First laugh: Pittsburgh reporters are always asking the Penguins about the Steelers.
Second laugh: Mark "Wilmington Effing Delaware" Eaton with the New Jersey Nets joke! Oh snap!

owl in a box
Found this via my beloved Mimi Smartypants. The photos of the owl in the box (as the subject says, ha) are mesmerizing.

Isolated Bulding Studies
And this, my millionth link via Sweet Juniper, is really amazing when you look at all the photos tiled like that.

This is a great photo, and I love it even more because my own grandparents were Gen & Bill.

introvert bachelorette party
Okay ladies, if I ever get married, here's how you plan my bachelorette party.

Sidney Crosby with Shaun Majumder
Two things I love: Sid and number games. And I especially love his expressions starting around 2:35, where he starts to get really interested.

Ashton Kutcher actually made me laugh here.

Tags: family, links, penguins, steelers

found a CSA that is only 3 miles from downtown Kzoo! i'll probably go with them. it's only $260 for a 14-week share. they even do bicycle deliveries! here's a link to their listing at LocalHarvest: http://www.localharvest.org/farms/M33805

really looking forward to teaching the children's class today! it's been three weeks since i've been able to teach it, with thanksgiving weekend, erik's birthday, and a glitch with scheduling last sunday. the kids are so much fun and eager to learn. and man, do they learn quick! they'll be performing in the student hafla on january 16th. it's going to be so adorable to see them dressed in costumes, with their little grins!

money has been super tight because of christmas. not to mention our prescriptions and other bills. seems like as soon as we get a little bit of money, something necessary and unexpected comes up.

erik has spent the past year battling with H&R Block. they royally fucked up his taxes, THREE times. we're waiting to hear from them how they are going to fix the whole mess. they advertise that if they make a mistake, that they'll cover the costs. well, we're having a hard enough time just getting a refund on what they charged us. i just want it to be over. the extra money would really help, but being rid of the stress would be acceptable to me at this point.

it has been a really bad year as far as money goes. i'm making a pretty decent living with teaching (more than i made full time at the hotel), but things just keep happening. we've had so many problems with 5/3 this year. at the beginning of the year, we're going to switch over to a credit union. i grew up with a credit union account and tried to convince erik to switch over. it took a long time and a lot of screw ups from the bank that cost us money in overdraft fees, but he's ready to bail finally.

otherwise, the year has had lots of positive memories. i got married to the sweetest, most supportive man i've ever known. i've been blessed with troupe members that are loyal and committed. i've found a strong group of friends in kalamazoo that i know i can trust and count on if i ever need help. i've reconnected with my dad. abby and steve got married, which also brought along a visit from jesse. my business has flourished and i get new students regularly.

so, i will be happy to put this year behind me and start anew with my husband at my side. we were laughing last night about how it was a test of what we can do without as a couple. i'm going to do everything i can to make 2010 more stable and organized. i'm going to get back to being as self-sustainable as possible. and i'm going to get a haircut. :) (it's been two years!)

It has been an extremely odd weekend here. I have met a man who is going to change my life. I don't know how, or to what extent, but I do know that he is the sort of person, much like Ed ten years ago, whom I can't meet and not be changed by.

I have also been offered a free trip to Brisbane over the holidays. I'm still considering the ethics of accepting that or not.

Current Mood: weird
Current Music: Jefferson Airplane - Somebody to Love

The pure stuff. None of that cherry cordial crap.

Only about four days until I get to go home for Christmas! I called my parents' house earlier to get the scoop on what we're doing, but no one answered, and Momma's cell phone was off. But I can mostly guess what'll go down: lots of eating, lots of driving, some shopping, and hopefully a good measure of sleep. Until Wednesday, though, I have to not think about that and focus on studying. Bah exams.

Last night I had to assist my roommates in Edward Forty Hands because they needed someone to tape up the last person and then uncap all the 40s. Hilar. Also, Ramsey wins at college because he finished both his 40s in 11 minutes, 17 seconds. Following hanging out there and watching a bit of Death Race 2000, I made me way up N. State, as Tracy and Tara had everyone from the program + their roommates' friends over for a cocktail party. I stayed for hours, and posed for many photos, and in general enjoyed the last time I'll be going out until probably New Years' Eve.

Today has been consumed almost completely by studying for the legal final on Monday, though I did manage to escape to the gym. Multiple lunges occurred, and I'm getting my old, intense workouts from the Duke days put back together. As far as I can tell (energywise and by how much I can lift and how many reps I can do), I'm in the best shape of my life; thank Madonna I've forced myself to continue working out regularly despite the madness of the semester. Round is totally a shape.

The moment that I finish studying, though, I still have a mile-long to do list, of preparing a conference paper, asking the grad school for money to attend the conference, and preparing to apply to summer internships (one in particular has an app deadline of February 5th, ugh). We'll see how much of that I accomplish on planes and under Christmas trees.

Current Mood: 36 more hours of Legal
Current Music: Back to studying with Amanda, Dave, and Katharine.

Hermey doesn't like to make toys!

What interests me the most about this movie is how on Earth the big shiny piece of shit got greenlighted.

Also, how it's not even safe to take your kids to it because apparently the smurfgiraffes do it.

And there's the loving paean to colonialism implicit in the storyline..

Actually, the more I think about this movie, the more offensive it gets.

The sponsored questions blow. I wish I could afford a paid account.

Tags: oh fuck you!, writer's block

And will try to resist reenacting this video in the airport.

As my multiple annoying blog entries and tweets have signaled, my first semester of grad school is coming to a close. I enjoyed the ride immensely, and never for a day regretted quitting my job and moving all the way to Michigan to start urban planning. And more importantly, I'm excited for a further three semesters of like torture madness.

The next semester is also going to be quite different from this one, a nice surprise. Whereas the theme of the fall was orienting to this new place, this great place, and its people and rhythms, the winter* semester will be all about movement. The only time since August 15th that I left a 30-mile radius of my house was to North Carolina for fall break, and while that was a great trip, I was just fine with staying put here. For the coming months, my travel schedule is quite full, allowing me to see new places, old favorite places and people, and (I assume) meet new folks too. And most of the travel is school-related, so it's not like I'm abandoning Ann Arbor for warmer climates, although that doesn't hurt. :] It comes at just the right time, to keep me from getting restless and also remind me that in less than 18 months I should figure out where I want to live, in life, as an adult. Here is the schedule so far:

Dec 23-28 (Wed-Mon) - In New Mexico for Christmas with family

Dec 29 (Tue) - Drive down to North Carolina to see my favorite people in the world. Also very much looking forward to time on the road, to work out the restlessness associated with four months in the library.

Jan 4ish (Mon) - Return to Michigan for start of the semester

Jan 14-16 (Thu-Sat) - In Columbus for a conference. I'm presenting on the promise of visualization technologies for democratizing planning practice. Yeah, I don't know what that is either. Ask again later.

Feb 16-17 (Tue-Wed) - In Kalamazoo with hordes of my classmates for another conference. Just attending this one.

Feb 26ish-Mar 6ish (Fri-Sat) - Tentatively in San Francisco, if I get the spring break externship thingy. If I don't, pretty sure I'm going to just come to San Francisco anyway, because why not?

Apr 10-13 (Sat-Tue) - New Orleans for the APA conference! Very very excited about this one.

Apr 15-18 (Thu-Sun) - Back to North Carolina again for my 5th reunion. It is sort of ridic that my reunion is this year, since I remained affiliated with Duke until 6 months ago, but hey, I'm not about to turn down an excuse to visit again. :]

Just a tad crazy, but I was expecting this and have registered for a slightly lighter course load to accommodate my flitting around. And I've been saving my pennies for a while. I can see Delta Air Lines waiting patiently to gobble up my piggy bank in exchange for possibly on-time flights and tiny Biscoff cookies. I'm on to you, planes.

Finally, I abruptly stopped doing GPOYW, so here's proof that I have indeed survived the semester relatively unscathed:



I should buy wall decorations while on the road, y/n?


*No, not spring. It's actually called winter semester. Thanks for the reminder that it will be snowing until April, U of M.

Tags: photos, snpd, travel
Current Mood: Now to go to final lab session
Current Music: Feist - My Moon My Man | Powered by Last.fm